About Us

The Church of the FSM is a religious belief system, that does not have traditional "commandments" like other established religions. Instead, it humorously presents a set of "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts," which are satirical suggestions or guidelines. These are meant to be humorous and are should be taken as the established religious doctrine. Here are some of the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" commonly associated with the Church of the FSM:

1. **I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe in Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.

2. **I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence as a Means to Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, and/or, You Know, Be Mean to Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, and Purity is for Drinking Water, Not People.

3. **I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, and Get This in Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than the Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion, and I'm Sorry, But I Gave That to Women and Some Guys Who Know the Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.

4. **I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge in Conduct that Offends Yourself or Your Willing, Consenting Partner of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As for Anyone Who Might Object, I Think the Expression is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find that Offensive in Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV for Once and Go for a Walk for a Change.

5. **I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge the Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas of Others on an Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After the B*******.

6. **I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multi-Million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines to My Noodly Goodness When the Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick) Ending Poverty, Curing Diseases, Living in Peace, Loving with Passion, and Lowering the Cost of Cable.

7. **I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk to You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You to Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take a Hint?

These "commandments" are meant to reflect the nature of the Church of the FSM and its criticism of teaching intelligent design in schools. As a religious belief system, it uses humor to make a point about the separation of church and state and the importance of critical thinking and science education.

The phrase "question dogma and uphold the principles of reason and secularism" encourages individuals to critically examine and challenge established beliefs, traditions, or doctrines (dogma) rather than accepting them unquestioningly. Instead, it promotes the use of reason, logic, and evidence-based thinking to form opinions and make decisions. Additionally, it emphasizes the importance of secularism, which means separating religious beliefs and practices from government and public affairs, ensuring a fair and unbiased treatment of all individuals, regardless of their religious or non-religious affiliations.